Sunday, January 16

  The Realization

Last semester was really rough on me and I've come to the realization that going back to school is not the right thing at this very moment. The boys are still so needy and they don't nap anymore. My husband travels 50% of the time and when he is in town, he is never home before 7:30 pm. I can't have as much work as I did last semester and only have 2 hours a day in which to do it. I was exhausted, crabby and in such a panicked state for the last half of the semester that I was physically ill nearly every day.

I found out three days before Christmas that for the first time in my life I had a 4.0 GPA. I had been waiting for that moment ever since I started back to school in September and yet when I logged in to my student records online to see my GPA displayed for me, I felt nothing. I immediately called Steve (my husband) to tell him the news and found myself saying, "Wow. That 4.0 ALMOST made it all worth it." I think college will have to wait until my kids are in elementary school. At least then, I'll have some time during the day to go to school and get work done. The strange thing is... I feel both relieved and sad about my decision. :-(

11:30 PM

Congratulations on the GPA! You worked really hard. Considering the time constraints you had, and the kids, etc...DOUBLE WOW! In a couple of years when you have more time, it'll be more enjoyable. School will still be there!
Lauren, saying it's not easy sounds so trite, but hey, being a SAHM to little ones is *not easy* all the time. Congrats on pulling out the 4.0! I can understand your relief and sadness though. You have to do what is right for you now. Pamper yourself a bit and knit a little. :) Thinking of you...
I'm proud of you. The hardest thing to do is to pull back when you're overwhelmed. Raising kids is definitely the hardest job in the world, I've only one and I'm always exhausted and/or sick. Take any extra time you have now to do stuff for yourself. I can totally relate to what you're feeling! Congrats on that 4.0 - just imagine what an absolute genius you'll be once the boys are in school and you have more time to devote to studies!!
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