Sunday, January 16

  The Realization

Last semester was really rough on me and I've come to the realization that going back to school is not the right thing at this very moment. The boys are still so needy and they don't nap anymore. My husband travels 50% of the time and when he is in town, he is never home before 7:30 pm. I can't have as much work as I did last semester and only have 2 hours a day in which to do it. I was exhausted, crabby and in such a panicked state for the last half of the semester that I was physically ill nearly every day.

I found out three days before Christmas that for the first time in my life I had a 4.0 GPA. I had been waiting for that moment ever since I started back to school in September and yet when I logged in to my student records online to see my GPA displayed for me, I felt nothing. I immediately called Steve (my husband) to tell him the news and found myself saying, "Wow. That 4.0 ALMOST made it all worth it." I think college will have to wait until my kids are in elementary school. At least then, I'll have some time during the day to go to school and get work done. The strange thing is... I feel both relieved and sad about my decision. :-(
 

11:30 PM